Marriage and Relationships

  • Can you communicate perfectly until you get to a hot-button issue?
  • Do you have the same vicious circle arguments over and over?
  • Is it hard to let go of the past?
  • Did your previous marriage counseling stir issues up without getting to the core?

You Can’t Communicate Through a Fog of Hurt, Anger & Resentment

When you try to talk to your spouse about a hot-button issue, they experience toxic feelings of hurt, anger and resentment. These emotions temporarily shut down positive feelings and trigger a fight-or-flight reaction. As your spouse shifts into fight-or-flight mode they develop tunnel-vision and become short-sighted, narrow-minded and self-centered. Does this sound familiar? Instead of listening and understanding, they become obsessed with defending themselves and planning their next attack. What could have been communication becomes interrogation, what should have been problem solving becomes a vicious-circle fight.

We Will Help You to Communicate with Love, Acceptance & Respect

While traditional talk therapy teaches communication skills, many couples can communicate perfectly well until their emotions get in the way. We focus on helping you develop the right emotional climate for healthy and productive communication and real problem solving. We help you to identify and strengthen the positive parts of your relationship, the peak experiences that helped you fall in love in the first place. Then we show you how to use these strengths to not only move yourself into a place of love, acceptance and respect but to also eliminate the hot buttons that drag you or your spouse into hurt, anger or resentment. Once you have cleared the emotional fog, you both can start to listen with your hearts, understand things from your spouse’s perspective and communicate in a way your spouse can best hear. You become effective problem solvers, finding new win-win solutions to old viscous-circle fights.