SCRATCHES IN YOUR TEFLON - Stressful events that aren't traumas by themselves can add up and give you posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Stressful events - like a divorce or breakup, getting fired, financial or legal problems, sexual harassment, having a miscarriage, having a serious Read More →
Self-Centered “Love” – Intense and Temporary.
Self-centered people can make you feel special, protected, loved and even cherished - until you are not! Most people think that self-centered people have such glaring defects they must be easy to spot in the first date or meeting. So how can anyone with a shred of self-respect fall in Read More →
Communication ABCD’s – Communicate your way into closeness
When you run into communication problems you need to go back to the ABCD's - A) A Single Issue, B) Best Time, C) See Their Perspective & D) Do It Again. In sports when you are consistently missing with your tennis swing or your jump shot you always go back to the fundamentals. In Read More →
4 Words That Can Stop Any Marital Argument.
These 4 words can 1) stop marital arguments mid-sentence, 2) help you become a super spouse and 3) help your spouse to become less defensive. The next time you have an argument with your spouse I want you to say the very last thing that they will expect to hear from you, “You Are Read More →
Marital Time-Out Plus – Communication Skills For Hot Topics
Do your arguments about some topics blow up into major explosions. Here are some advanced communication skills to help you avoid those minefields. Start with the first 6 steps of the standard Marital Time-Out Program and then add these additional steps to tame those totally Read More →
3 surprisingly simple but powerful communication skills
Have you been avoiding bringing a hot-button topic up with your friend, co-worker or spouse? Here are three surprisingly simple communication skills that turn arguments into real understanding. RUN YOUR HANDS UNDER COLD WATER When I wash dishes, I have a problem, I like to use Read More →
ANGER MANAGEMENT 101: Your anger is either coming from your present, your past or your present amplified by your past.
You are standing in line at Starbucks to get your morning coffee and a guy in a blue shirt comes up, cuts in front of you in line and then, for no reason, he stomps on your toe as hard as he can. All of a sudden your heart rate zooms up from 70 to 140 beats per minute as the Read More →
Stress management 2.0: Simple ways to stop stressing
Your body and brain were designed to handle short bursts of stress to help you get away from lions and tigers and bears. Once you are safe your stress response is supposed to go back down to its 0 baseline. When you are chronically stressed and especially when your stress response never Read More →
Vicious Cycles – Science Finally Proves That They Really Do Exist
Have you ever started to have what you thought was going to be a normal conversation with someone only to have it escalate into a red hot argument without even trying? Do you and your spouse (or teenager or boss or sibling) seem to hit each other's buttons so that arguments go from zero Read More →
If You Can Make It Worse You Can Make It Better.
The first law of emotional dynamics is: If you can make it worse you can make it better. So it's really good news if just remembering a panic attack makes you anxious, if thinking about an old hurt makes you depressed, if recalling a past insult gets your blood boiling. This is because, Read More →