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Home > Anxiety > Conquer Anxiety By Resolving Your Worst Memory

Conquer Anxiety By Resolving Your Worst Memory

Posted on 12.15.15 1 Comment

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Fully healing the emotional wound from your worst memory conquers anxiety and allows you to calmly and confidently tackle your future challenges.

EVERYBODY HAS A ’10’

If you were watching a video of all of the worst and most upsetting moments in your life and you were going to hit the pause button at the worst of the worst, which moment would you pick?

When I ask clients to rate the worst memories in their life, everybody has a 10.  One of my client’s worst moment was not being accepted into the sorority of her choice.  For another client it was witnessing her family being killed in front of her when she was a child.

Not making it into the sorority of your choice may seem like a little thing, however it was a significant event my client’s life because, at her college, being accepted into a top sorority could determine much her social life for the next four years and could have an impact on her career options and networking for the rest of her life.  However, everyone would agree that it was not in the same ballpark as seeing your whole family killed.

For me, in a way, it didn’t make a difference. My job was to help both clients to get rid of their baggage.  My goal, with every client, is to help them to fully overcome the worst moments in their lives, to help them get from 9’s and 10’s on the emotional-pain-in-the-present scale to 0’s or 1’s.  I want clients to be able to achieve perfect peace for Big ‘T’ traumas like seeing your family killed or little ‘t’ traumas like not getting into a sorority and everything in between.

Of course it took much more time for my first client to fully heal from the memory of seeing her family murdered than for my second client to get to a place of peace around the sorority rejection but both of them got to the same place, where they could vividly recall the memory and only remember how bad they felt in the past but without re-experiencing any of that pain in the present.

There are 2 reasons that is was important for both clients and everyone else to fully resolve the worst experience in life – 1) it resets your stress/anxiety meter and 2) it makes overcoming obstacles a way of life.

RESET YOUR STRESS/ANXIETY METER

The worst thing that has happened to you AND that you have fully gotten over resets your stress/anxiety meter.

Once you have fully gotten over something, nothing less than that can ever discombobulate or overwhelm you.  So in a way you want to have had some really stressful experiences in life because it makes you resilient.  So if the worst thing that has ever happened to you is seeing your family murdered and you fully heal from it, then nothing less than that can overwhelm you.  If on the other hand the worst thing is not making the sorority then there are likely going to be a lot of things that happen in your life that will discombobulate you.

JOIN THE OVERCOMER’S CLUB

There are 2 clubs in the world, one is very large and is full of the people who have never overcome their biggest anxiety. The other is really small and only includes people who have faced their biggest fear and overcome it.

Once you have overcome your biggest anxiety, no matter how small or large it is, you can never be the same person because now you know – deep in your subconscious – that you can achieve things that you thought were impossible.  The world can never feel as intimidating or as frightening as it does for people still stuck in the big club, for people who still let their fears set a limit on their abilities.

CategoriesAnxiety Emotional Baggage Grief and Loss

David Russell

David Russell

Dr. Dave Russell is a clinical psychologist who specializes in intensive individual and couples therapy using 90-minute and 3-hour sessions – where client’s can achieve up to 3 month’s worth of therapy in each session – to fully resolve emotional baggage, hot buttons and trigger points. He has his doctorate in clinical psychology from Rutgers and did his internship at Yale. Before going into full time practice he was a clinical instructor at Yale and the director of outpatient services at Klingberg Family Centers. His practice MCH/Russell Associates, LLC in West Hartford, CT has clients who come for face-to-face sessions from as far away as New York City and Boston, clients who come for week-long intensives from all over the United States and clients who work via phone or Skype from as far away as Australia, Canada and the UK.

Comments

  1. Adrienne says

    January 13, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    Thanks for the explanation of this type of therapy and for spending time on the phone with me yesterday.

    Reply

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